Tag Archives: Malaysia

My recent (lifetime) journey in Malaysian health care

I kind of grew up in Malaysian hospitals, my entire life. Okay, that might be overstating it.

When I was born, in General Hospital, Kuching Sarawak, my mom had to be admitted in the hospital for a good 3 weeks before labour because I was a heavy pregnancy, that was what I’ve been told. So I started getting familiarised with the hospital before I was even born.

And when we first arrived back from 1 and a half years (1987 to 1988) residing in Melbourne, the first month in Malaysia, I got my first ever athsma attack.

I remember the attack, not when it happened, but when I was rushed to the hospital (early 1989), the nurses took me to a room and suddenly I have about 10 doctors or maybe more surrounding me. It seems that they just bought the nebuliser and they were demonstrating how to use it, on me, to all the doctors there. I was 6 (going 7) years old then. It was too momentous to not let it skip my memory. Plus, I went to the hospital too often because I remember playing with the big saga from the saga tree in front of the hospital block (we were in Johor Bahru at that time).

When we move to Ipoh in 1991, the late night visits to the rumah sakit angkatan tentera (my dad was an army officer), I became such a pro with the nebuliser. At that time the doctor had to give me 2 inhalers, the blue and the brown one. My athsma came from dust allergy. And that was my identity. It was so easy to skip school, but breathing was like playing violin, wheezing all the way in, and out.

My worst attack had to be when I was 16. I was in MRSM Terendak, and I collapsed when walking from the bathroom heading to my room. And when they put me on my bed, I was struggling to breathe, I remember my friend had to stop holding me because I was gripping her hand way too hard. They asked the warden to take me to the Kem Terendak hospital. I was warded for 2 or 3 days, I think. My parents were overseas at that time, my dad had to bring his students on a field trip and my mom followed (I think to Istanbul).

After school, I no longer have my athsma attack, but instead, it was so easy for me to get tonsillitis. Almost every 2 months, I’m down with it. I was in my Diploma programme and the health officer in UiTM Alor Gajah probably see me more than his own mother in the kampung. But my tonsillitis was never severe enough although it’s constant, so doctors never advised it to be removed.

When I entered the working world, I didn’t fall sick as much. Although my dad know how hard I push myself to work, to one extend, he said, “Abah tahu badan kamu adik. Your body is not strong. I raised you, I know.” Of course he knows, he raised a sick child.

Last February after a family vacation to Lumut, the moment we arrived back in KL I fell down with a severe cramp on my upper left thigh. I never felt that much pain and my siblings had to hold me walking to the clinic. Doctor diagnosed Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) to be the cause after finding some infection in my urine. After the stretch of antibiotics, I was well again. Middle of April, I fell down with my cramps again and after going to the doctor and explaining that it was similar pain to my first UTI, he diagnosed me with UTI without taking a urine test and just by slightly touching my abdomen. I wasn’t fully convinced and after 2 days, the pain didn’t go away so I went to another clinic and the doctor took a urine test and diagnosed me with UTI but with a different set of medication. After the series of antibiotics, I was fine again.

Last Thursday (23rd May), I started having a mild cramp at the same place. The pain starting throbbing worse after I broke my fast later that day and my partner rushed me to the clinic to check. The doctor diagnosed me with UTI again and asked me to come back after 2 days if the pain doesn’t subside.

That night, I couldn’t sleep as my entire abdomen was so in pain and I kept waking up every hour to pee. It was too painful that the next day (Friday), I insisted to go back to the clinic to get a referral to the hospital. I felt like admitting myself into the ward because I just couldn’t bear the severe abdominal pain that is causing my tummy to bloat.

At about 8:30pm, my younger sister brought me to the clinic where the doctor who treated my second UTI (the second doctor I went to in April) said it could be bladder stones and referred me to Hospital Selayang because that is the nearest hospital to my parents’ house. So about 9:20pm, we arrived in Hospital Selayang.

And there we started a journey of waiting….

Waiting to get registered, because at 9:20pm, the outpatient clinic of Hospital Selayang is like a pasar tani (farmer’s market). Thank god the pain wasn’t too throbbing at that point and we braved through waiting to be consulted by one of the General Physicians (GP) there.

You see all kinds of people at a government hospital. All kinds of faces, attitudes, races, sizes, and conditions. It’s sad to know that illnesses do pick the poorer people more because health is such a luxury these days, especially if you’re living in a metropolitan city like Kuala Lumpur. Because a normal consultation at a private clinic is RM 20 – RM 40 per consultation (that probably takes less than 15 minutes), not adding medication yet. And although Malaysia still have one of the better health care services in Malaysia, with the inflation and urban affordability especially for the B40 urban poor groups, not many can afford private clinics because government hospitals only cost RM 1 for consultation.

Anyway, we got to see the GP at around 10:45pm, and I showed him the referral letter. He asked me to do an X-Ray and take a urine test. He couldn’t see any stones in the X-Ray but he also said that C-Rays are only 60% accurate. He also said he did find an infection in my urine but since this is my third UTI, he will refer me to the urology department. But urology department works on office hours so I could only go on Monday morning.

So this morning (27th May), I went to Hospital Selayang’s urology department and showed my referral letter. After 20 minutes, the nurse told me that she can only schedule my appointment to meet the urologist on 21st June 2019.

That’s like for another month! And that, is with a referral.

I went back home and thought for awhile.

In my mind, I was scared of bladder stones, because then it will cause recurring pain if I don’t have it removed. My eldest sister called me and told me to go and get a CT scan to be perfectly sure. I gave it a thought for a few hours before deciding to really go ahead to a private hospital. I called KPJ Damansara to check on the cost (nurse told me around RM 1,500) and had to borrow money from my parents and told them if anything persists from the scan, I can always claim from my insurance. So I went to KPJ Damansara in the afternoon.

When I arrived in KPJ Damansara, I went straight to the Imaging Services department and inquired on the CT scan. When the nurse saw my referral letter, she asked if I have seen a urologist and I said Hospital Selayang would only let me see one in June. Then I asked if she can refer me to the urologist in KPJ Damansara. She referred me to one Dato’ Dr. Kamil Nordin.

Probably one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. Dr. Kamil sat me down and took me through what constitute urinary tract infection and explained that GPs would not do a special test called Urine Culture which could determine what is the bacteria causing this recurring infection. And then he told me that there’s a lot of possibilities and bladder stones could be one of them. He suggested an ultrasound instead because CT scan has radiation and he advised to avoid it if possible.

So he did an ultrasound on me. My kidneys were fine until he went to my abdomen and found something that caused my tummy to bloat. He suspected fibroid but he recommended me to see a gynecologist to confirm. Apparently the suspected fibroid is 7cm in diameter as he can see in the ultrasound and he said it was quite big. My mom requested for a referral to Hospital Selayang since it’s nearer to our house, or maybe Hospital Tuanku Mizan because it’s a government military hospital that she’s more familiar with.

Upon leaving KPJ Damansara around 3:30pm, we rushed to Hospital Selayang to make it on time to see if we can meet the gynecologist there.

When I got to the counter at 4:30pm, the nurse told me that the doctor can only see me in July. Yes, what??!! Nurse said, there’s too many patients and that’s how it goes. She said that if I feel too much pain, I can just go to Emergency ward later. And when I asked, which gynecologist will I be seeing, she then said any doctor will come in and attend me then.

I returned to the car and told my mom that tomorrow, I’ll go back to KPJ Damansara to check with a gynecologist there.

Here’s the deal.

1 out of 3 women have or will have fibroid. It is a common thing for women, as how UTI -is common for women.

I’m not going to die, of course I know that.

I just want it removed as soon as possible. And to wait until July, the probability of the fibroid growing bigger is also high. 7cm is quite big already. And I don’t want it to grow bigger until it crushes my bladder and cause more pain when I need to be on my feet, working and berkhidmat for the masyarakat that I’m serving. And what if it’s not fibroid? It has a probability of being something else as well. I won’t wait until July to know.

But imagine, what about people who can’t afford private hospital fees?

What about people without medical insurance?

What about people who doesn’t work with companies that provide panel hospitals?

They have to wait for a month to meet a doctor in a government hospital, and maybe another month to get a slot for the procedure.

I wish there are better ways we can improve this system.

Imagine the money that Jho Low stole from Malaysia and spent on wining and dining Hollywood superstars, imagine the money Najib Razak and his crony stole from Malaysia and spent on his families’ luxuries, imagine all that going to employing more doctors in government hospitals, then maybe we would have a leading and exemplary health care services in the world.

I’ll see a gynecologist tomorrow and keep you all updated with my procedure.

I wish to share my story so people can understand the process and journey should they experience the same in the future.

Remembering a national treasure

Today, since I’m sick, I’ve dedicated my entire content consumption to Sudirman Haji Arshad, since today is his birthday and I saw Google paid tribute to him via the search doodle.

I was (and still am) an avid fan of Sudirman. His music, his comics, his film, everything about him affected me growing up. I remember always asking my Mama to buy me a can of Sudi cola whenever we go to Chow Kit Road and Sogo back in 1986 and 1987. At the age of 8-9, I’ve memorised all his songs.

I also remember about 10 years ago, I wrote a blogpost about Sudirman and I received a comment claimed to be from Atai, his nephew who thanked me for my tribute post.

Now at 36 (going 37), it has been almost 30 years since I first fell in love with Sudirman. I am still in love and at awe with his remarkable and iconic persona.

I watched both the History Channel Biography feature on him and his one and only film, ‘Kami’. Kami was a film released on the year that I was born, 1982, but I only got to watch it a few years after that, during his glory years of late 80s. I remember how the film affected me so much, the hard and gritty life of 2 kids, living on their own and taking care of each other. Watching back ‘Kami’, it is such a great story which deserve international festival recognition.

His strength in performing is remarkably amazing. Every stage presence is an opportunity to impress. He studied, researched, and made sure everything is planned to perfection.

And then there was the Chow Kit Road concert in 1986. I am sure my dad didn’t allow my mom to go because of the massive massive crowd but to know that this 5’2″ small man managed to convince everyone around him to close the road, build a stage, bloody got him a crane for his grand entrance and made it all free for public was more than what any Prime Minister or any person in Malaysia could do. I don’t think even BTS (the Korean pop group) could do it either. That was such a communal thing to do, by such an accomplished performer.

Then in the SEA Games Closing Ceremony in 1989, he wore a 200 feet cape where he made all the athletes hold while he parade in to sing his songs. That is such a commanding charisma.

I remember when he passed away in 1992, I was 10 years old and I remember crying especially when I learned that one of the last songs he performed was ‘Salam Terakhir’. It was such a big impact for a small girl of that age (but at that time, I was already listening to Sheila Majid and Anita Sarawak thanks to my mother’s cassettes). Sometimes I wish that he would still be alive so I get excited to get the opportunity to meet and talk to him.

Sudirman would’ve been 65 years old today. I’m sure, if he is still alive, the entertainment scene would’ve been slightly different. He would’ve raised the benchmark for every living performer in Malaysia.

But I hope he would be so proud knowing that 27 years later, there’s still so much love for him.

Rest in Peace, Sudirman. May your soul be blessed in many ways that you have inspired all of us.


(Photo Source from News Straits Times)

What’ll Break You? Maybe the Apocalips.

The world as we know it, will end.


That was the Apocalips, as interpreted by playwright Ivan Yeo in a double bill play I went to last Friday night. Double bill because it is a two-play combo, first you have What’ll Break You and after the intermission, the second play, Apocalips. Indeed a smart thought out interpretation by director Ida Nerina to have two plays at one night, both thought provoking and heart wrenching.


Okay, heart-wrenching should not be a suitable word for What’ll Break You because I didn’t cry, but the performance by Zahim Albakri was indeed heart-breaking. What’ll Break You sits in the interrogation room with Mr. Whiteacre (Zahim Albakri) and his said attorney Kevin Schmidt (Gavin Yap). Quite an emotionally draining performance by Zahim although I couldn’t really grasp Kevin Schmidt’s character in this one. One moment there was compassion and the next, quite stone cold. But if you’re used to watching CSI or Crime & Investigation TV series, you would definitely imagine the quality and standard of Ivan’s writing at par with any Hollywood products.


Apocalips, on the other hand focuses on three couples whose lives at the end were intertwined. One couple, Chris (Ash Nair) and Wendy (Tania Khan) questions the possibility of a future together, another couple, Troy (Zahim Albakri) and Nicole (Stephanie Van Driesen) questions the possibility of falling in love and the other, Jude (Gavin Yap) and Benjamin (Vince Cheong) questions the possibility of being together. The amazing twist is the apocalips where the world, as we know it, ends. In this piece, although not as emotionally heavy as the first play, is more thought provoking and current. It deals with everyday drama and dilemma in relationships. Although these issues were set in different circumstances, it is still relatable. I haven’t seen Ash Nair, Tania Khan and Vince Cheong acted before and for newcomers, they’re pretty good. Stephanie on the other hand, is a natural. I’ve first seen her as Betty in the Secret Life of Nora and I thought she was brilliant in the musical, and still brilliant in Apocalips. As for Gavin and Zahim, I rest my case. Although, this is the first time I can visually imagine Zahim with hair. 😉


You can tell by the very short review I’ve just made, I’m not someone from the production or theatre industry. But I would like to congratulate Ivan Yeo for his brilliance and I wish, his works will get a space in our television because of the lack of English TV productions in Malaysia of late. I remember meeting him at the Kr8tif Digital Conference in December last year, introduced by a mutual friend. Didn’t know then, I was in the presence of greatness. But I guess that’s humility. As the divinity lies in the smallest thing, greatness lies in the presence of the unknown.


Although I couldn’t get in touch with the writer, I did get to catch a little bit of Ida Nerina’s time for an interview and I’d like to really thank her taking the time to attend to my (pretty naive) questions. Please excuse the organic fluidity, it’s just natural for us as friends. 🙂


Q: Is this your first time directing a full length theatre? I know you have directed some comedy sketches for Actorlympics. But how is this different from the ones you’ve been involved with (as behind the scenes)?

     IDA: No it’s not, I first did a director’s workshop being mentored by Joe Hasham and the late Krishen Jit & directed a Jit Murad piece called VISITS. I had 3 female actors- all brilliant! Melissa Saila, Liza Othman & Sofea Jane! I know…like WOW, right? 😉 About a year later (circa 2003?) I re-staged VISITS as a full production under Zahim & Jits’ theatre company DramaLab. This time I had Liza Othman, Vanidah Imran & Sarah Shahrum. Jealous yet? In March this year, I put together 8 writers, 8 stories, 16 WOMEN actors (ALL SUPERSTAR NAK TERMAMPOS!) doing about 8 minute pieces each for Capricomm for the 100th International Women’s Day. It was So much FUN! I guess the difference with this piece is I have testosterone involved with the 4 guys. Plus it’s my first venture to learning the ropes of co-producing under my little company “big EyEs Entertainment” with Susan Lankester’s company Catwoman Productions. (It’s all about the money, money, moneyyy…- LOVE that song!) FYI, there is NO direction in Actorlympics- it’s all off the cuff. A series of improvs. No script. Nothing. Even the ideas come from the audience!


Q: How was the cast selected? We know some are your friends, but were they picked to suit the characters based from the scripts? I always wonder how theatre casts are selected.

     IDA: Well the truth is, Sue & I knew we needed and wanted 2 male actors who can switch roles in one night swiftly. That reads damn good actors who.. yes, are aesthetically pleasing too. Plus if you want to get these very busy big names, you’ve got to dangle something that will make them go…”Ooh, that’s going to be a challenge!” And the truth is, I have wanted to direct Zahim for many years now. I just didn’t have the right text. And Gavin & I have worked quite a few times together. I saw him last in “Someone To Watch Over Me” and thought to myself, “YEP! Sue & I made the right decision!” His acting has matured and grown with him it’s pretty amazing. And his PROFESSIONALISM is just unbeatable!  The other roles, we had a reading/audition organised almost 2 years ago. Stephanie blew me away for the simple fact she came with headshots and resume and even a change of clothes in case I wanted to see her in ‘Nicole’s’ office attire. Tania actually gave the best read, to be honest. The 2 other boys know this – we had a really tough time casting for Chris though we found someone by May, and actually had a different Benjamin initially. But then they both pulled out in July- for their own different reasons. So the search for Father Benjamin & Chris re-started. I caught some of Vince in AF1, and when Sue put his name towards me, I thought if he could do those different genres of music- he can damn well learn to act properly! And I had seen and heard of Ash, and when he came to meet me for a reading, he gave a pretty damn good read. So here we are. That’s how I cast my cast. 🙂


Q: I really like the twist in Apocalips, did you put any adjustment or personal input in it or its all from the playwright’s script/story?

     IDA: The writer. We had minor adjustments made of course, but it’s otherwise from Ivan’s head. I just made it farcical.


Q: This, I heard, is Ivan Yeo’s debut as a playwright. How did you find him or how did you come across the script?

     IDA: It’s Ivan’s first PLAY. he’s written short films and tv shows… I’m not sure if he has had any of them produced though. He’s got a twisted, quirky, brilliant mind. LOVE!


Q: The first play, What’ll Break You seems quite short, although quite heavy. I would love to see it interpreted on screen. Would you venture into that? Usually, movies are adapted into plays. But do you think Malaysian audience or even the theatre people ready to adapting plays to screens?

     IDA: Yes, I would. But let me get over this first. Well, Zahim just adapted Jit Murad’s “Spilt Gravy On Rice” into a big screen flick. And from what I’ve seen, it looks pretty damn good! Actually Jit (and Ivan)’s writings read like a film. It’s been up to the directors to translate them for theatre… Re: What’ll Break You/Apocalips, Ivan and I (& hopefully Sue too!) actually want to take them to singapore… Must find the other Ivan in my life then… Ivan Heng of WildRIce.


(Ida, eyeing for Ivan Heng, huh? 😉 ) Well, I hope you guys who are reading gets to learn a lot from the production as I have when I got the answers to my questions. Please please please go and watch it for yourself. And no, I’m not paid to do this review and promote the play(S). As artists, we crave recognition. And I think they’re as good and deserving of such praises and recognition.

What’ll Break You / Apocalips is currently being staged at KL Performing Arts Centre (KLPac) from 3rd November until 13th November. Call 0340479000 to book your tickets today! I guarantee you, it’s totally worth it!

Gold Digger bukan direct translation untuk Pisau Cukur

So, it was a long overdue dinner and a supposed movie date, but we used the McD’s Coke Glass as a reason to realise both. Hehehe. Cathy asked if anyone have the pink one since her brother is collecting and I’m willing to swap mine for another colour. Then she said, let’s do dinner and better still, watch a movie. I’m like “Let’s!”. Then she asked if “Pisau Cukur” is okay with me. Well, I rarely watch malay films, I mean, rarely PAY to watch malay films in cinema since I was used to just going for the premiere, but heck yeah, let’s, support the industry, even though I’ll end up criticising as the typical skeptic me.

So, just on the day itself, after we arrived at One Utama, Cathy told me, not only that Maya Tan and Farid Ayam is joining us, but also another 4 other people. Wah, a large group of 8 people to go watch Pisau Cukur. Walawey, like penuh cinema liddat. Good to know that I knew most of the people joining, Fairuz Blur and his friend Dill whom I saw here and there in the art scene. Then the cute twins who joined us, but I have never met them before. 🙂

Queue was crazy due to the premiere of “2012” (as Adi put it, people are lining up for the end of the world), and of course, we manage to get us the 8 tickets.

I vaguely remember a couple of months ago, meeting Bernard Chauly for the first time and he mentioned about this movie. No wonder la it did sound familiar to my ears.

Pisau Cukur is a comedy (me think) about two main characters, Intan (Fazura) and Bella (Maya Karin) who both preys for rich men to marry. It takes place on board a cruise where Bella ends up in pursue of one mysterious rich man and Intan investigating a murder.

I won’t give out much of the storyline since you are welcomed to watch it yourself. I would give it a score of 4/5 for effort, 4/5 for funny and 3/5 for storyline. It did moved on to a different level of the Malay cinema, and I think the art direction is quite good. My favourite shots would be of Faqir and Bella dancing cha cha with the spotlight at the background, the effects are amazing! Of course, the ‘gedik’ness (cheeky) of both main characters is simply nauseating but well, it works. Although I didn’t really like Aaron Aziz because I think he’s over-rated and the silver lining to his singlet spells G-A-Y 😛 Well, I just find it … funny.

Good job for Pisau Cukur. And kids, go watch this slapstick comedy for some feel good in malay film industry.

Wacky Bar at PJ Life & Arts Centre

I wouldn’t drop names but this is merely promotion. Hehehe. When Angelia told me that she wants to ask me and Muid to join her to watch Ida Mariana in Wacky Bar, of course I gave a confirm YES. First because I adore Ida Mariana, second because I’m her groupie, third because I didn’t get to hangout much with Angelia because of our schedules and this is the perfect time for it. Not to mention that it was a treat, THANK YOU SO MUCH LIA!!! Hehehe.

It was quite a funny day to begin with, because we had the office team photoshoot and I managed to hangout with Adi and meet up a new friend (well, at least it was our first time meeting each other) for a drink. Thanks for the treat (Good lord, I sound like a freeloader don’t I?). I managed to get to PJLA in time, bumped into Sani when I was there, and Nish too, who came with her mom. Thanked God Muid managed to make it there JUST IN TIME they close the door.

Directed by Joanna Bessey, all in all, the Wacky Bar is a great show. It tells the tales of ordinary people with ordinary issues who frequented this Bar owned by Wacky. Maya Tan Abdullah did a great job with her Thai character, Ida was ….. hahaha, believable as always, making us, in between of understanding her situation or getting annoyed with her neurotic behaviour. The best thing about the whole show is the dances to retro mixes in between. Hehehehe. It does make you part of the Wacky Bar. If only it was a private viewing and my seat is at the last row, I would’ve stood up dancing myself. Brilliant way to change settings as well! And the cast did it instead of the crew which I thought was magnificent! The whole cast was excellent, from Patrick Teoh to Junji Delfino, from Na’a Murad to Iedil Putra, from Daphne Iking to Gavin Yap. Of course and all the rest of them.

Unfortunately they have wrapped up for today, but rumour has it, next stop should be Sin Jia Por. So people of the land where the todak crashes, be prepared for Wacky and his team okay!!! I’m not a big follower of plays and theatres in Malaysia but I do get to view some if it fits my schedule. I have not been those Instant Cafe groupies and whatnot, but yes, I’m a groupie by default in life. It was quite funny to say I actually have been watching Ida Mariana in Puteri Gunung Ledang without me realising that one day, we would be friends, taking pictures of our feet together.

Again, thanks to Lia for the treat, the great company of Don and Muid. Great to be bumping into Sani and Nish. And a great hangout afterwards with Ida M. and her friend (Elmira was it?), Nish and Maya Tan who dropped by our table at Oldtown. Also bumped into some familiar faces at Jaya One. Hahaha. KL is getting smaller by the minute!

After 52 years, are we, the urban citizens, more civilised than our ‘kampung’ people?

There’s a lot of things that have happened the past 52 years. 6 Prime Ministers. One Independence. An ‘invi(si)ncible Social Contract. One May 13th Tragedy. Several Political Parties. No Sekolah Wawasan. One Majlis Amanah Rakyat (Melayu).

I don’t normally talk about politics. I hate it.

I live in a world where the PEOPLE around me loves each other beyond our race, colour, gender, culture and nationality. We are binded by LOVE and GOOD(HEARTED)WILL. We believe in upholding (not fighting) for the right causes. We are self-sufficient with great support system from the people who love us. We are spiritual and respectful of other people’s faith, belief and principles. We believe in doing good deeds to other Human Beings, Animals, and Nature.

Then, I saw the television news. And the newspapers.

I saw a different world.

One, which is divided by its own Government, all for political reasons. Power. Authority. And … Money.

I had an argument (sort of) with an acquaintance over my Facebook status which reads:-

Dear Government of MALAYsia, are you sure you’re preaching about having 1Malaysia, not 1MALAYsia? Are you sure MALAYs are the ONE ISLAMIC SUPERIOR RACE which God has granted you the rights to insult OTHER human beings with vulgar words and insulting acts?

He replied:
Its depends on how we determine this agenda..bkn semua melayu yg bertindak sedemikian ttp hanya segelintir..bila bangsa/agama lain memperkatakan ttg bangsa/agama kita..kita melayu islam hanya mampu lihat sahaja..melayu/islam di malaysia sudah terlalu byk bertoleransi dengan bangsa/agama yg lain..kita perlu hormat mereka dan mereka perlu hormat kita…Melayu hendak ke mana klu inilah saja negara kita…only my 2 cents…

Entahla H. Saya dikelilingi 80% kawan-kawan bukan Melayu dan mereka sangat sayangkan negara ini. Saya bukan defensive on my friends, but saya sedih how right now, POLITICAL PARTIES are using MALAY AND ISLAM to win agendas, not for the sake of humanity. Memang bukan salah kaum melayu sahaja, memang ada salah kaum lain. Saya ada kawan kaum India yang sendiri mengaku “some Indians are worst than Nazis”. It all depends on Individual itself, not the race, but right now, I’m refering to OUR GOVERNMENT. Who duduk di tepi apabila segelintir Melayu memijak kepala Lembu untuk insult kaum India, apabila segelintir Melayu memegang banner mengatakan DAP itu babi dan sebagainya di BULAN RAMADHAN, tetapi menangkap 15 orang India yang hanya menyalakan lilin untuk mengadakan Candlelight Vigil for the atrocious act to ridicule their faith done by the Malays.

Melayu boleh hidup di mana-mana. Selagi kita faham mengenai asal usul kita dan kita mempunyai peribadi yang dihormati orang lain. Tidak melayu hilang di dunia. Tetapi with what’s happening now, I’m sad to being a Malay when other Malays menconteng arang ke bangsa sendiri dengan berkelakuan biadap dan tidak berperi kemanusian.

He replied:
saya setuju dgn apa yg abby ckp..hal ni dh lama berlaku dlm society kita even dpn mata kita sendiri kita blh nmpk..bukan semua india/cina seburuk yg mana kita sangka same juga melayu bkn semua mcm tu..sbb tu lah setiap apa yg kita buat kita kena fikir apa effect dia pd society..abby..DAP dan rakan2 mereka lagi teruk menghentan mekayu/islam didalam artikel/journal mereka..mereka tak exposed pendirian mereka pd umum tp disebaliknya..sbb apa 15 indian tu kena tahan? apa motif nk buat majlis tu..knp mereka xnak buat di tempat ibadah mereka? kadang2 terlalu byk hidden agenda yg kita tak nmpki lihat abby…

abby..mmg melayu blh hidup dimana2 tp kita masih mencari asas tanah tumpah darah kita..melayu dah ada diseluruh dunia dan saya percaya mereka akn kembali ke Malaysia juga nnt..

“sbb apa 15 indian tu kena tahan? apa motif nk buat majlis tu”

Candlelight Vigil is usually an event where we pay grief to what has happened and light a candle of hope.

(Wikipedia defined it as “A candlelight vigil is an outdoor assembly of people carrying candles, held after sunset. Such events are typically held either to protest the suffering of some marginalized group of people, or in memory of lives lost to some disease, disaster, massacre or other tragedy.”)

That’s why we have to understand and study each other. Ilmu pengetahuan is the key element to purpose of life, that’s why God’s first commands were “Iqra’ (Read)”

Kenapa sekumpulan kaum melayu sanggup membunuh seekor kerbau (bukan menyembelihnya untuk dijadikan rezeki), mengheret kepala kerbau tersebut, dan memijaknya, DAN polis duduk di tepi dan tengok?

Kita lupa, kita bukan sahaja Melayu, TETAPI KITA ADALAH MAKHLUK ALLAH, patut mempunyai peri kemanusiaan.

DAP menghentam Melayu di dalam artikel dan jurnal dan sebagai Melayu, kita perlu berarak memegang banner yang mengatakan “DAP Macam Babi” ? Ya Allah, macam orang bodoh kan. Kita hentam je la dengan kepandaian kita, bukannya susah sangat.

Bumi Allah jadikan ni luas. Di mana sahaja kita berada, if we are honest, faithful and courteous, should be okay. Nabi Nuh pun kena berhijrah, Nabi Muhammad pun berhijrah. Apa salahnya?

He didn’t reply after that. I don’t know whether he has lost his words or he gave up thinking I’m too sekular for this conversation and that I have lost my faith in defending people from other faith.

I grew up in a very Malay environment. Although my family moved every 3 years while I was growing up and from those 7 schools I’ve been to, I have met a lot of people, I was thrown into a 100% Malay society for about nearly 11 years, from 14 years old until 25 years old. One Malay boarding school and 2 UiTM campuses.

Then of course, I worked in an NGO where it was practically sort of a government office environment, another 100% Malay environment for a whole year.

I adore 50% of the people from all my 12 years of 100% Malay environment, don’t get me wrong. After awhile of growing up and meeting A LOT OF PEOPLE, I learned to look beyond race, and see everyone as an individual. I do throw racist remarks sometimes, I am honest and I’m not a hypocrite. But, mostly not to condemn a whole race. It’s more like directly to identify a particular individual especially when I’m on the road. Although most of the time, it’s not just based on race, it’s also based on gender and other things. We are, naturally, discriminating human beings. But those were done when I’m alone and in the car, so I won’t hurt anyone and anyone won’t hear it. Thus, no damages have been made, nor hearts have been hurt.

No, it’s not the same.

Shouting “Get away dog, don’t come here” and thinking “That dog should go away, I don’t want it to come here” is different.

One is acted on. The other, is a thought. One is said outloud which will be heard and can be used as an evidence, one, is … intangible and unknown.

Yes, call me a coward.

Valentine’s Day, February 14th 2006. I was mugged. I was mugged at knife-point, on a deserted pedestrian bridge and got a scratch from it on my wrist. I got mugged in 5 minutes. BUT, it took me 2 police stations and nearly 2 hours to lodge a police report, where in the end, the Inspector in Charge told me “Kita akan tunggu lagi beberapa report daripada kawasan tersebut sebelum kita ambil tindakan”. I was initially reluctant to lodge the report because it was already 10.30pm, I was partially traumatised and tired from crying, but my dad said, the perpetrator used a weapon and being an army officer, an official of national security himself, he advised me, that’s the only civic thing to do, because this mugger might, in the future, hurt someone.

Then, we heard, rumours of a protest, and only based on rumours, not that the rumour actually took place, dozens of police stationed for road blocks for no apparent reason, which caused some people to probably be late for important meetings, lose chances to score a job interview, and ambulances to get to the hospitals a minute too late.

I was triggered to write this post because I just revealed an incident to my friend that happened to me a few weeks back.

I was walking back to my car from the office around 8ish pm. I passed by a dark parking lot at Jalan Tun Sambanthan to get to my car which I parked near Jalan Vivekananda off Jalan Tun Sambanthan. So, as I was walking in the dark untarred parking lot, I heard someone whistled calling for my attention. There under the shaded parking space, 2 policemen and 2 civilians were sitting nearby a motorcyle parked there. One of the policeman called for me to stop from afar while his friend walked to me. When he came near me, I noticed his “Polis Integriti” badge.

Policeman: Ni nak pergi mana ni? Dari mana?

Abby: Errr … ke kereta. Dari ofis.

Policeman: Orang mana?

Abby: Errr … Malaysia?

Policeman: Minta I/C

Abby: (struggling to get I/C from bag) Kenapa ni?

Policeman: Nak check.

*hands in I/C*

Policeman: Hurm … Nurol Akma …

Abby: Nak tengok lesen memandu sekali ke?

*Policeman showed annoyed face*

POliceman: Awak tengah memandu ke sekarang? Orang minta elok elok, jangan la kurang ajar.

Abby: Takde la, saja tanya kalau nak check.

*policeman hands back the I/C*

Policeman: Nah.

I grabbed it and walked away furiously.

I should’ve taken his ID number, and asked for the purpose of them stopping me. But I was too tired from work to even bother and already mad because I was stopped like an immigrant in my own country.

So ………….

It’s sad to be a Malaysian in this country we call home.

It’s sad and confusing especially for me. I fear reading the news because from where I stand, I saw a nice greeny meadow with people playing kites, dancing to music, hugging each other and having fun, and when I read the news, it’s another realm of fighting, cursing, insulting and to one point, bloods might be shed for this crazy battle of claiming ownership over this land.

Ini bumi tempat tumpah darah kita. Tetapi KITA means orang yang dilahirkan di Bumi Malaysia, orang yang sayangkan Bumi Malaysia. Ini bukan hanya BUMI MELAYU. Ini BUMI MALAYSIA.

If we’re attacked by a foreign enemy, Do you think we have enough Malays to defend our country? Some of them might be scared shit and stay quietly at home because they’re helpless little scared shitholes.

Okay …

Maybe I just wait for the Government to send me to exile in Seychelles island so I can be a country-less island hottie without having to spend on travel agents. 😉


In a country’s term of ‘Merdeka (Independence)”, it means ‘self-sufficient’, not ‘freedom’. For the people, it’s just a change of government because no matter what, we are still being ruled and our voices will not be heard. Putting the skeptic aside, I am wishing you the freedom of not having fear to speak up for who you are and your rights on this day. And let peace and love be the ruling constitution of our soul. HAPPY FREEDOM DAY! Enjoy the day with your loved ones!

PHP Developer / Designer, ( PHP, MySQL, JavaScript, HTML, CSS ) required

A fantastic opportunity has arisen for a Web Designer / Developer in Kuala Lumpur, to join an established technology driven Corporate Social Responsibility organisation. You will need solid knowledge of PHP, MySQL, HTML, CSS, JavaScript. Candidates who have exposure to Joomla Integration, Linux and object orientated methods ( OOD / OOA / OOP ) will be beneficial.

This role will suit someone who is looking for a fresh and exciting challenge as a Web developer within a very successful and growing team.


• Plan, develop and implement web applications and online solutions

• Conceptualize, create and implement new products.

• Assist in providing functionality to the corporate websites.


• Bachelor’s/ Degree in Computer Science/Information Technology, Science & Technology or equivalent.

• At least 1 year of working experience in a related field is required for this position.

• Required skills: PHP, JavaScript, MySQL, CSS and HTML

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• Dynamic website development application/programming.

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Please email Luke Wood, Chief Technology Officer at luke.wood@oww-consulting.com for more info.

IDA NERINA back – as judge for BMW SHORTIES 2009

Photo Courtesy of Mujik Production
Photo Courtesy of Mujik Production

Ida Nerina has decided to return as a judge for the BMW Shorties 2009 – after her manager decided against it earlier.

She said, “to kill the boredom while just lying in bed while I recover – I might as well take the opportunity to view films that have been submitted for the Shorties”.

Ida looked and sounded in good spirit and is as bubbly as ever.

She is recovering slowly after her surgery and as to how long she will remain under observation by the doctors at the hospital is still undetermined.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you Ida – God Speed

Issued by:
Fizar Harun

Ida Nerina is Recovering

Photo Courtesy of Mujik Production
Photo Courtesy of Mujik Production

Ida Nerina, director, actor and comedienne suffered spinal injury at her home in Kuala Lumpur late last night.

She had just returned home after her performance in the The Good Body which was held at the Sime Darby Convention Centre, in Kuala Lumpur.

Ida Nerina accidently slipped on a low step at her home and fell – which had caused injury to her spine.

Her husband, Encik Sha’arin Razali immediately rushed her to the Pantai Medical Centre in Bukit Pantai last night, afterwhich she was then transferred to the Universiti Hospital in Kuala Lumpur.

She underwent surgery the same afternoon and is currently recovering well and under the observation of her physicians and doctors. Her condition is reported to be stable.

She is currently conscious and is recuperating with her husband, her mother, Puan Marina Yusof and her family and will not be receiving any visitors at this current moment.

Reports that were made by certain tabloids earlier of the incident were speculative and proved to be untrue.

Ida is advised by the doctor to take this opportunity to rest during her recovery.

The duration of her stay at the hospital is undetermined but will ensure that updates will be provided to the media of her progress in due course.

Ida and her family would like to thank everyone, including her friends, family, the media and fans for all their prayers, well wishes and concern.

Should there be any further enquiry with regards to Ida Nerina, please email all enquiry to fizarharun@gmail.com.

Issued by:
Fizar Harun