Can’t go in

I can’t go back to how it used to be but I am struggling to define home.
Home used to be where the person I have entrusted my entire heart stays within the reality of being.
Of being together.
Of growing beside each other.
Because human being is a verb, one voice of reason once told me.
I tried my best to see not only beyond the raindrops but within its liquid splashing on my window screen as if hitting me with senses that I am not able to reach.
If we choose love because we enjoy the emotional care and undivided attention, then why didn’t love choose me in return?
If we choose a partner so we can be an equal to their strengths, dreams, intelligence and maturity, then why didn’t my partner choose me in return?
You will never be good enough for me, that’s what she said in silence, without any words.
And here I am, in front of a home I am still trying to find a sense of belonging in.

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