“And anxiety should be a side effect that you should never fear before the pursuit. And if you do, you have successfully chosen anxiety over experience.

Because I meet too many young people in their 20s fearing burnt outs and anxieties. And as someone ending her 30s, those are the things I experience after taking a leap of faith in doing everything that I wanted to do and I regret nothing of it.

But the young ones end up not doing anything due to fear…”

I had a lot of chats with people in their 20s recently and I found out most of them fear failure and anxiety until they refuse to take chances and would play it safe or only be in an environment that validates their choices.

I am 37. I have failed. I went through panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I have experienced PTSD, post surgery depresseion and multiple level of depressions. I have had several burnt outs. But I choose healing. I acknowledge it and I want to get out of it in order to get better. If I was afraid or place these fear whenever I want to do and achieve, I would not be where I am today or the person that I am right now. Don’t abuse the term ‘depression’ just because. It’s a very dark place when you’re in it. Don’t give anxiety a chance. And never choose to numb your pain and emotions. You might think that’s your personal way of handling things but you will not grow properly.

Be fearless. Be courageous. Live your life and always be ambitious. And remember, whatever that comes out of it – choose healing, over and over again.

Monopoly City Street Online

I came across this reminder a few days ago about 10 years ago when I was obsessed with Monopoly City Street Online. It was just released for 3 months in 2009 using real life players and Google Maps and allowed players to buy and bid for streets around the world.

Every morning when you log in, you will receive an initial cash of the day, sort of going through GO. And having lived in 9 states in Malaysia and in Point Lonsdale, Queenscliff, Aus – I get to revisit all the streets I lived in and buy them. And if you own surrounding streets, you get to build parks, schools, factories, towers, etc. The server often crash due to overwhelming demand and people being online – and we’re talking about 2009 technology, not today’s gaming technology. Me and my workbuddy Serena would log in every morning and start buying streets before we commence our daily tasks as socially responsible investement analysts (hahaha very responsible but clients in France so we still have lead time!)

Reaching out to people who have ever played this online back in 2009! Damn I miss this game!

Financial Sustainability

There’s this ranting (branch) that was actually a dead deco on a bouquet I received two months from Davina Goh. A month ago when I got my aquarium, I put it in as a deco. But Behold the magic of love and life, leaves started sprouting on this dead branch and from the brown colour, it slowly grows into a healthy green. And now the other ranting is following suit. A complete rebirth.

And since recycling now is a feat and there’s so many plastics stil given to us in our daily lives – I am trying a new practice. Growing money plants as a second use to all the plastic bottles I’ve acquired, even the bloody tealive cup that I bought for the first time in 5 years. Now my room is full of money plants! Talk about financial sustainability huh.

While we watch all these videos on green environment and preach it on our social media – what are we actually doing and contributing to promoting more oxygen and greenery in our environment? Or are we just loud about it from the comfort of our airconditioned wifi-enabled plantless concrete rooms?

Cultivate a jungle of plants and try to compensate your own carbon footprint. That’s the least you could do. If you’re not, then stop talking about climate change.