Love is just a four-letter-word

When I was younger

I long for a romantic love that would

sweep me off my feet.

I was so in love with love.

I was in love with the moon.

I was in love with the longing.

I was in love with the romance.

I kept on thinking about

the kind of love I would give out.

I wrote hundreds of poetic words,

so I can practice how to be in love.

To me, love is an ideal.

A utopia, an ecstasy.

And then I fell in love for the first time and got my heart broken. Shattered.

I was in an illusion of love that allowed my heart to be broken to pieces for it to understand the meaning of love.

I was my own heart saboteur.

It took me a decade after that to fall in love again.

And fell I did.

This time, love to me was intense and real.

It was so intense that I would wail nonstop to not be left alone.

It was so real that I would do anything to make someone else happy.

But this love taught me consciousness.

This love taught me all the things I didn’t know about myself and my life.

This love taught me to take care of another person.

This love taught me to take care of my own self.

This love taught me how to prioritise.

This love taught me the limit to selflessness.

This love taught me the most important thing – that loving someone “so much” means different from one person to another.

All the clichés are true.

All the love songs sound cheesy.

Every romantic gestures receives no praises.

But weirdly, I love this person so much still, and forever.

I guess, in the end,

Love is just a four letter word.

In an entire dictionary of life together.

For love

Here’s an ode to couples

who will go through a lot

to be together because

they know that they have found the one

they would fight for to be with.

Allow your heart to love,

and it’s okay if you have to wait.

Jodoh is all about the nature of time.

If you go against the rule of time,

you might not end up with your person.

I’m no expert, we have our ups and downs.

But I don’t think I would love anyone else

as naturally as I have been loving my person

There are days we do not feel for each other

There are days we compromise

And there are days the entire universe

conspires against us.

It’s weird that I can’t imagine myself loving

anyone else than this person.

And it’s strange that giving up is a feeling

that goes against my entire being

I have always been in love with love itself

And now that I am in love

with this very special person that complements my entire universe

I feel like I have arrived to my destination

Like I am home, belonged.

Of course I am scared of the fact that this person could stop loving me

Of course I am afraid of losing this person to someone better than me

Of course I am terrified of how broken I would be if this person decided I am not the one

But it’s my destination to love this person, and I’m here

If this person moves on, that’s their journey.

My journey ends here, with this person.

Until my last breath, it will of love for this person.

I hope that you get to be with that person.

And if after this, I don’t end up with mine,

don’t disregard this message.

For I have won my fight.