Cut my finger. #champion

Courtney Galiano in a nude sequin short dress dancing the cha-cha is ……. #orgasm

39 unread emails. Bring it on! #OCD

When I grow up, I want to be as pretty and as sexy as Prince. Or the Artist formerly known as Prince. Or the Artist formerly known as Symbol

What do you call that stupid disease where a person LOVES out the stickers on the jars because she wants to recycle the jars? ABBY.

– In positions where quick thinking and fast decision-making is necessary, #Libras will often have difficulty.
– #Libra’s sense of balance can sometimes prevent them from finishing projects, because all aspects of their life share equal importance.
– Emotionally, #Libras tend to avoid extremes: Never becoming too angry, too depressed, too happy or too excited.
– As a #Libra,Try to be swayed less by the appearance of your potential partner, and more by their other qualities.

I foresee sickness and weakness. Slept at 4ish last night. Now everything is cramping and aching. Aiyoh!

Those who DM/PM me their details with birthdates but no year, they’re either born 1975 or 1980, on my mercy. 🙂

Abby, dumbell untuk diangkat oleh tangan, bukan disepak oleh bukulali. Ouch.

Good job Abby, you’re back in contact with the impossibly straight crush, your Sarawakian R. Syabas! And also got back Kiddo’s phone number. Felt like a pedo. Just realised I crushed on someone who was born in 1991. *smacks own head* BBMing with R. Oh, how I miss her sarcastic wit. R could possibly be the butch-est straight hot girl I’ve ever met. 🙂 I call her R bcos her face is like a rodent, like Master Splinter. She calls me Mek. Becos. I told her someone called me Mek. *bodoh* R has her profile picture with kids, like she pulled a Jolie. Tell me why i crush on her again? R is being cute today, complaining how the mamat stared at her food, now she takut kena bomoh. 🙂 Last year, I asked R out, hypothetically. She said she’s as straight as a rod. We became friends after that. 🙂 Chatting with R about her new pursuit to becoming a cougar. I told her, the kids probably won’t understand her sarcasm. Too young.

Choc cake and coffee for breakfast. 🙂

Ah, sudah! Siapa sudah misscall aku tak keluar nombor ni! People are fussing that this is my second time asking for everyone’s contact details in the past 2 years. Sorry. I am THAT forgetful.

Sex and The City, BIBLE of Relationships.

OMG, just saw the calendar. THIS SUNDAY is KL MARATHON?!!

Just read an article from The Edge – “Revenues of European pubic biotechs grew 12% to €13 billion.” PUBIC?! PUBIC??!!

It’s already 20 June and a friend of mine haven’t even gotten her May salary. They should’ve filed a report.

After several months not touching the dumbells, 5 days in a row is straining my biceps a bit too much. Aching all over my shoulders.

Everytime cakap dengan Production Manager, rasa macam politician nak menenangkan hati voters je. 4 episodes of 22 mins animation to write!! AND I should not be thinking about storyboard problems! I’m the scriptwriter, damn it! About angle all, don’t la tell me!

AUS send asylum-seekers to Malaysia. Malaysia already have 3million asylum-seekers waiting to be re-located. UNCHR only do documentation. These bilateral agreements between governments are done by blue-bloods who sits in their comfortable limousines. What about the real people? At Harvest, a 19 year-old girl asked me, “Teacher, what are you?” I said, “Malaysian.” She said, “I’m Malaysian too, but parents Myanmar.” It’s sad due to the circumstances, parents opt to flee from their own homes to find refuge in another but kids didn’t get a home. ;-( More sad part, we’re dealing with our own stateless children, our own Malaysian with red-ICs, who deserve citizenship. And who causes all these problems? Politicians who crave for power, causes disrupt in own countries. Abah told me, if we legitimise asylum-seekers for proper necessities of citizenship, the people with red-ICs will go berserk. He has a point. I understand that Malaysia is a receiving centre for refugees. But takkanla THE ONLY receiving centre in South East Asia & Muslim countries. Abah told me, in war-torn countries, the relocation destination would be the former colonial countries. E.g. Vietnam to be sent to France. But problem is, the destination countries refused to accept these refugees. And while their countries continue to be in conflict, (contd) the receiving centres will have to be burdened with over-population of asylum seekers. Anyone, correct me if I’m wrong please.

Just realised, most of the comic-adapted movies heroins, are brunettes (altho played by originally blonde actresses).

The other night, I told my parents, me doing all the weird things I do, so when I comment, is because I see it and experience it.

I’m not gonna be one of those sitting at the cafe complaining about things they don’t even touch with their own hands.

In Malaysia, I can’t be a teacher because I don’t have a teaching degree. But the kids from harvest calls me “Teacher”. Makes me smile.

I think I’ve overcharged my iPod. For the past few days, the battery is running out so damn fast, within 4 hours even though no heavy usage.

Abby tweet mengarut banyak sangat. Abby nak gi tidur jap.

Woke up from nap, took a walk to Selayang Mall. Distance like OU to Curve. I love walking. Had a vege sandwich, heading home now. Saw a foreign rastafarian couple walking at the subburbs of Selayang. Wah, not bad huh my neighbourhood.

Comel juga mamat bisu ni. Drama on Astro Prima. Sayang Abah or somehing. Cantik jugak si Qalesya ni. Gua tak tahu nama sebenar dia. Alamak dik, miming tak menjadi. Tapi sebab kau comel Qalesya, aku kasi chance. Sebab aku biased dan shallow. Lebatnya kening kau, seksi! Hahahaha (gelak kat diri sendiri) Oh, citer ni memang sedih. Bapa Qalesya tu yang bisu, ambil dan bela dia jadi anak angkat. The thought of it je dah sebak. So dia kerja syif malam jadi penyanyi kelab. Pastu bapa angkat dia yang bisu stay-up tunggu, risau. Ala sian, dia risau sangat sampai gi cari anak dia. Tak tahu anak dia dah jadi penyanyi kelab. Dia nampak anak dia atas stage terus dia blah, kecewa. Oh no! Kembali selepas ini. Gua mandi dulu. Oh no! oh no! Nak nangis! Abah cuma marah sebab abah tak pernah ajar Intan bebohong, bukan sebab Intan kerja kelab malam! Oh, Abah, walaupun Abah bisu dan hensem, lakonan Abah berjaya. Mamadah nangis dah. Aku tahan macho. Huish! Kat kelab malam tu sempat lagi gossip. Kalau aku dalam kelab malam, dah mabuk dah. Hahahahahaha. Ish, aku gigit karang makcik yang penuh hasad dengki ini. 9minit je lagi. Bertahan Abby. Kawan si Qalesya ni pun boleh tahan pandai berlakon. Comel pun juga. Bodoh pompuan ni. Mamat tu pekak dan bisu, yang kau kuatkan suara bila cakap dengan dia apasal bodoh! Oh, itu lakonan semata-mata. Relaks Abby, relaks. You are not Mama. Makcik dia macam sial je, kata bapa dia takleh masuk kelab sebab pakai macam nak kutip botol. Ish.

Mandi cepat, satgi sambung.

Don’t take it personal. I like to share. Hehehehe. It’s not about how many people following you or not, it’s about content. That’s internet ethics and virtual characteristics.

Kesian Intan, rindu kat Abah. Aunty tak bagi kawan dengan Abah sebab Intan dah popular. Dia nak balik belanja Abah KFC. Abah pakai baju clown pergi Kelab Malam. Sah tak kena kata macam nak kutip botol. Abah memang bijak! Bapa dia mati!!!! *cries* Oh, tak tak. Masuk ICU je! *pheewww* Minah ni dari tadi nyanyi lagu Menghitung Hari aje. Takde songlist lain ke. Ala, makcik kat kampung call bagitau Abah masuk spital. Intan dah meroyan, lari gi spital. *nangis dalam hati* Alaaa. Abah kata abah tak gi mana-mana, ada dalam hati Intan. Abah janji. (Dalam sign language) Aunty pun insaf! (Tahan air mata di hujung kelopak) Intan pun sayaaaang sangat Abah. Then abah hembus nafas terakhir. ;-(

Telemovie Sayaaaang Abah on Astro Prima telah berjaya buat Abby nangis. Thanks Michael Ang (director)

Me on dating kids,

“They probably send, what they think is the most romantic text message to you and you’ll be like wtf deciphering codes.”

In Caliph Umar’s rule, governors were not allowed to eat food (i.e. expensive sweets) that is unaffordable by ordinary people. If the information gets to Caliph Umar, he will order the governor to come back to Madinah and face severe chastisement.

Hurm. A live gig. A chance to ask someone out. Oh, dammit!!

The last time I actually asked someone out on a date was to Tia’s show at Musa KL. She bailed on me. What the hell. Learned my lesson. I’m on a dating sabbatical until someone ask me out instead. Too tired being stood up like a fool all the time.

Megan Fox was fired from the Transformers franchise cos she said Michael Bay is like Hitler. Dude, apsal lu kencing dalam periuk nasi lu? There’s a reason why I never was attracted to Megan Fox. Now, seriously, her lack of decency in words is such a turn off. Hitler? Come on!

I’m glad I get to see and know most of my Dad’s flaws and still accept and love him for who he is.

Assalamualaikum all! Good morning!! Still wrapped in my pink blankie.

– Because a #Libra woman,is usually so attractive and charming, it is difficult for men to appreciate her talents and intellect.
– While #Libras, dislike conflict, their need for perfection can sometimes make them a little over-critical of the people around them.
– You can trust in a #Libra word because their reputation upholds it well.
– A #Libra gains wisdom as time goes by. They never take for granted nor are they hasty in their decision making.

I feel sorry for the Astro customer service who had to deal with my Mom. Sorry ye dik/kak/bang/nyah. Took over the phone from my Mom. Avoiding her BP naik. And cos I’m stupidly born with utter patience for Malaysian customer service. I guess I’m stupidly born with patience for everything. Rejection, lover falling for someone else, Malaysian customer service, being doormat.

Pak Zami, you’re off to your final rest. Terima kasih kerana menghiburkan kami dari kecil hingga kami dewasa. Al-Fatihah.

Hurm…. For Father’s Day, we kissed Abah. That’s the only thing we can afford right now. Last December I bought my first sports toto, I became my dad’s daughter. This year I will join Universiti Pertahanan. I am my dad’s daughter. Next year I’ll start buying secondhand cars. By 40, I’ll grow a moustache like the Colonel.

Masa kat asrama, ramai orang suka main nama bapak. People call me Bogebo bcos of Latif Borgiba who’s not even my dad! Redha. At campus, senior gave weird nicknames during orientation week. I was Abby Oscar de la Hoya. I don’t sing latin ballads or box.

Am not gonna henna my hair black anymore. Luntur dan menjadikan uban saya berwarna merah. Felt like aunty now. Shitz!

Worst ever gay character played on screen, Christina Ricci in Monsters. SO NOT BELIEVABLE. Okay, the next one is Jennifer Lopez in Gigli. Turkey time?! WTF?

Titah raja titah berdaulat, jika diingkar, tulah padahnya. Penderitaan rakyat sudah tak cukup tempat, dimanakah titah pertahan bangsa?

Is Malaysia a member of the United Nations Human Rights Council? Oh, okay, Malaysia will attain its membership of the Human Rights Council in 2013. Wah, until then, we’ll all be suppressed of our rights.

Xenophobia ialah xenofobia bermaksud perasaan sangat takut atau benci terhadap orang asing. Tiada kena mengena dengan Xena Warrior Princess.

Okay, somebody needs a trip to the MPO and enjoy the orchestra soon. I miss it. That’s my desired luxury.

Need a hat rack soon. Catching a fever of buying one too many newspaperboy caps.

Meant to say, THIS IS FUN, not this is ONE. Hence why, makcik gersang. ;-P

I would’ve done it if I have a proper partner, a proper home and a stable job. InsyaAllah.

The govt website hacks katanya menyusahkan rakyat sendiri. Sudahlah. Asalkan weekend je, site down. Webmaster govt. tak kerja weekend.

Saw a BBM status: The sweet escape would be in your arms… | Altogether now, AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW………………..

I used to be a planner, planning my whole life ahead of me. Then. 2 years ago. I decided to become a hippy. I quit my job. Then, life begin. I am proud of myself for taking that chance, for having to do what I have done. I had lived a life of a pauper. With RM5 a week. In KL. I guess, once you’ve lived your life with the least means, you appreciate life is moderation much more. Thus why I learn how to control my smoking. There were times, for a week, I can’t afford to buy a pack of ciggie.

My version of Inspiration Beings.

Last week, I was in a room of mainly ladies, waiting to be interviewed for a government position. I learned to know a few of them were applying for the job that has nothing to do with them, or their background, or if they even knew what the job requirement was. It was merely a job to them. Just apply for it. For it is a job. A government job. A sense of security. That’s it. They might not even know what their talent is. And the scary part is, they might not ever discover it.

In Malaysia, we have Talent Corp. But does Talent Corp merely puts unemployed to available jobs, or are they really realising your talent?

A few years ago, I took my brother’s camcorder and ask people, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Some make cynical comments, “We’re already grown up.”

Ambitions shouldn’t stop the day you stop having report cards to fill in.

Ambitions, should be something like a goal that makes you continue living this life to your fullest potential. The guru Dhyan Vimal once talked about how he always said to his people with regards to their work, “I want to meet you at your honour. So you got to perform at your best, every time.”

In the reality of life, we all are binded to our circumstances. Sad, but true. We all need to survive. But there comes a certain point, when surviving erased the joy of living life for its moments.

The “What do you want to be when you grow up?” project died with the passing of Yasmin Ahmad. Because she was the next in line for my interview. I wanted to catch her the week we were supposed to meet up for some screening session (the week after she passed away).

So when I resuscitate this blog of mine, I started it back, in writing, but with a focus on inspiration and passion. And it’s only fair that I take on the questions myself and share with you guys what inspired me. To live.

Who is the most inspiring person (dead/alive) that have made you pursue your passion?

Jalaluddin Rumi. The spiritual sufi poet.

How and Why is this person significant to you?

I have to say, he has brought me to actually love love and divinity. I found spirituality through his words. I was brought up in a strict malay muslim boarding school. I have had all the basics I needed. And what I was searching was a sense of belonging in loving God. The first person I have ever loved told me, if she were to describe me in 3 words, the first word was “God-fearing”. For me, it’s not much of God fearing, it’s more of the fear that I lose myself in search of love for my Creator. And she also introduced me to Jalaluddin Rumi. So, it was all meant to be.

Poetry only came to me in 2007. Before that, I was more like a compulsive blogger. I have my thoughts and short stories of life. But with poetry (and my lack of vocabulary), I can share my silent thoughts in verses that is shorter and more wholehearted.

Rumi’s conscience brings out the sense in loving despite the fact that he’s a mad lover. The thing about Rumi’s words, is that you can weep through it with a smile. Because it comes from the deepest of thoughts and feelings. And I wonder how he is, as a person.

If given a chance to have an afternoon together, what would you guys do?

There’s a tree. We will sit under it and talk. Like a Master and his student. We will eat bread and drink wine. And I will cry while telling him about the love I lost. And he will comfort me by saying,

Oh Beloved,
take away what I want.
Take away what I do.
Take away what I need.
Take away everything
that takes me from you.

If you were given a chance to Pay It Forward, what would you do and why?

I want to help people realise their best talents and passion. When I was 10-11, I always imagined I have a million ringgit, and I will build a house for passionate orphans, give them the family and education they deserve, and make sure when they’re successful, they’ll be the benefactors for other passionate orphans.

Apparently it’s not easy to get 1 million ringgit.

Tell me your worst nightmare.

Once, when I was 12, me and my brother nearly drowned when we stepped into quick sand at Pantai Santubong, Kuching. Drowning, always scares the hell out of my dreams. Then, I always had nightmares about being chased by ghosts around a confined house.

To be honest, I haven’t had any nightmares for years. I believe because I have found inner peace (or I’m getting there).

But my worst fear (in full conciousness), is to die without telling the people I love that I love them. I rather die on a death bed. It’ll buy me time to tell people I love them. We don’t get to do that often.