The things that makes me cry

Life. Feelings. Emotions.

There are times when I can just sit down, smell and listen to nothing. Completely nothing. Like a vacuum in space. And it makes me weep. For nothing. Because in the absence of everything, the presence of nothingness becomes overwhelming. And it makes me cringe, it makes me nervous, it gives me goosebumps.

The divinity in the smallest thing. I hold so close to my dear heart. Sometimes, I’m lost in my thoughts. Sometimes, my thoughts lost in me. And in that losing, I found something else. Serendipity. But how do you explain serendipity on something intangible. How does a feeling, an emotion, account to serendipitous findings?

In loneliness and silence, I weep and weep inside my heart. For something I don’t know. Sometimes, I weep for something I know, but at the end of it, I figured, was it the reason why these tears fall down? Or could it be these tears wanted to run away from the thought, that it not only run, but flew away from the memory stuck in my brain?

The beauty of existence exists in the abyss of nothingness.

Ah, what deep thoughts you throw me, dear Lord.

If only this heart could carry the burden of thinking, and this brain could carry the burden of feeling.

And maybe.

Just maybe.

The bowel could flush it all out as simply as poo.

I would buy a few people tickets to the theatre or the MPO. Tell them to watch shows and if they like it, to pass it on. More people need to support the arts. – Shamaine Othman

The first time I met Shamaine, physically, nor virtually, was when she did a promo for Projek Disko Baldi, an improv sketch project she was involved in, and the promo was at the June Bee Aggresive Poetry Slam, a poetry slam I was involved in. But of course, we knew each other on virtual realm, it being Twitter. And I had to confess, I actually stumbled upon her Twitter way before that. Probably the universe were giving some sort of a sneak peak for me, to this friendship.

Then, I went to watch Projek Disko Baldi.

THEN, I had to say how much GUTS this lady has.

So let me tell you what happened at Projek Disko Baldi. Showcased from the 28th May (Saturday) until 29th May (Sunday) with 4 shows, Projek Disko Baldi is a random young Malaysian comedy ensemble. When I put ‘young’ and ‘Malaysia’ in the same sentence, I’m referring to UMNO’s Youth requirement that stated, 40 years old and below. (I would not say who is in the ensemble because it might create a HUGE traffic to my blog if people google some famous handsome young malay actors).

In the words of a mutual friend who watched the show with us, she said, “It’s simple comedy.” Which I totally agreed. The sketches were inspired from daily happenings and it’s simple laughter. That’s what entertainment should be. An escape from reality but a total avenue to laugh at life itself. No weird wigs or props. Just throw in some singlets and elderly diapers, voila! Comedy! And I would fairly have to say, I grew up in comedy. I mean, I grew up being a sucker for Jangan Ketawa, MADtv, In Living Colour, Saturday Night Live and Russell Peters.

Another friend also said, Shamaine could be one of the most outstanding among them. And for another woman to say that about an ensemble with some very hot guys, that’s pretty much an honest bonus. Because she sure was. I, for one, thought that she was brave and brilliant. The others were good as well. Enough of the Senario or Raja Lawak shit, THIS is the FUTURE in Malaysia’s comedy scene. To be honest, if I own a TV network, I would’ve given them a weekly airtime. Then again, I’m not Tina Fey (or Jack Donaghy).

Again, another confession. Having met Shamaine briefly and on the virtual realm, we never actually have sat down for drinks. But I can tell you, she’s a pretty COOL and funny girl that one might enjoy her company.

So she’s this week participant in my Inspiration Beings column. And we get to see her … alter ego in this one. I mean … well, you get what I mean.

Who is the most inspiring person (dead/alive) that have made you pursue your passion?

The most inspiring person that has made me pursue my passion is my father.

How and Why is this person significant to you?

He is a film director and studied film,television and theatre in London in the 60s. At this time Malaysians were going to London to read law, medicine or engineering but dad stayed true to his passion for films. The arts is a risky industry in Malaysia- there’s not much money in it but most Malaysian artists do it for the love of it. For dad, it was both. He did it for money because he had a family to support. His continued passion for the arts has driven me to pursue it myself even though it doesn’t guarantee a lot of money.

If given a chance to have an afternoon together, what would you guys do?

Probably watch a movie then tea after. Talk about the movie.

If you were given a chance to Pay It Forward, what would you do and why?

Well, I’m only saying this because my two previous answers has been about the arts but I would buy a few people tickets to the theatre or the MPO. Tell them to watch shows and if they like it, to pass it on. More people need to support the arts.

Tell me your worst nightmare.

My worst nightmare is being an absolute failure. I can’t gauge what is failure to me but success to me is; doing what i love and surrounded with people that I love (ie; husband and kids). If I don’t achieve that, I guess I’m a failure.

Follow Projek Disco Baldi on Twitter or LIKE their Facebook page to stalk Shamaine and her baldi ensemble.

Inspiration Beings is a project under the Cosmic Abyss to learn about who inspires us and how their pursuit in their passion affects our own.