Have it been a lot that have happened in my life? No, in fact, nothing happened. Nothing aside than my resignation from the corporate world and focusing on NOTHING right now.
Okay, I lied. I have one ongoing job which made me realised why I needed to quit my current stable fulfilling corporate job in pursue of what I wanted to do. Which is nothing.
I have been writing. Well, obviously not here. But writing. Pursuing writing. When the EP introduced me as the “famous Abby Latif”, I cringed to the fact that I am not only NOT famous, but more likely to be INFAMOUS for being me.
But yes, as Kimya Dawson said in one of her lyrics, I hope to be paid as being Abby Latif one day and here I am, looking at a gadget I just purchased from the cheque that I received for being ME.
Today is officially my first day of unemployment. I am contributing to the Unemployment Rate in my country which I know, has not reach a critical point internationally, YET, unless every jobless person like me decided they want to pursue a career as a LAZY MALAY.
Malays are not lazy, I’m telling you, they’re not. In fact, once upon a few centuries ago, they’re one of the best port administrators in the world, considering how many traders decided to stop by and use the services and facilities provided at Port Malacca instead of other ports.
But that’s beside the point. The point is, I’m jobless and unemployed. If you consider freelancing as a job, I don’t know, I rather not. For me, employment means stable income. And once you decided that you’d rather work on a freelance-basis instead of earning a measly stable income, you’re like shit-fucked. But, if shit-fucked brings happiness, what the hell right. People get satisfaction from S&Ms, why can’t we get satisfaction from being shit-fucked jobless freaks.
So. There are other things. Maybe I haven’t felt the crazy dramatic nervousness of not being able to pay my bills. MAYBE. But I try to be confident and optimistic.
Eidul Adha was great, although I felt bad skipping the Eid Prayer. At my age, I try to be as grateful as I can, but yeah, I know, we’re all still trying hard at one point. The overall meat dishes were great, and we brought food for my sister, since she just finished her confinement. Which is another great thing I have been enjoying, the baby, Aisyah Nur.
Babies are amazing beings. They are our ticket of “Return to Innocence”. Enjoy the ride that ticket provides you. As I believe, proximity to innocence cleanses the soul. And it’s funny now that babies starting to pop around me. People around me are getting pregnant and delivering babies. Laws of attraction, I believe so. But I’m glad.
My priorities have changed. I constantly being reminded of what my former colleague, Sanjukta, once told me. Different people have different circumstances. I believe so now and I am enjoying my circumstances to the fullest. There’s a few projects I’d like to proceed with and it’s great having the time now to gain information and knowledge about it and not think about corporate obligation.
Maybe it’s just me. Some people enjoy corporate life and stable income. Not that I don’t. I enjoyed it too much until it grew on me.
My dad said I’m too nice, and people tend to take advantage. I give my all when I have commitments. Because I’m just that person. I jump to offer to do things beyond what I’m supposed to be doing.
But at the end of the day, we all seek recognition and self-fulfilment. Maslow was right. I might not be earning 4k a month, but I’m reaching the highest hierarchy of Maslow’s theory, Self-Actualisation. I need to be recognised for the effort I put in. And my biggest weakness, I put passion in everything I do, even in the dullest routine stressing work. And when I don’t get in return what I have put in, I retreat.
So yes, Abby, what’s new?
I’m still single, available, dateless and couldn’t care less. Same ol’ same ol’. Now, to add to all those criterias in my Personal Ad, is JOBLESS.