*inhales Surya Pro*
This remind me of someone. Who introduced me to Surya Pro.
What a year. What a whole year it was. In love, out of love, backstabbed, crushing on people, make new friends.
Vulnerability was widely exposed. Diri ini lemah sebenarnya. Ditolak dan dipaksa sehendak daya.
Support system has been good. Actually, extremely brilliant beyond expectations. I found a few constant.
Pengembaraan hidup tanpa perlu menjejak langkah.
Chenta hati kata, “U value friendship. N u care 4 ur loved ones, dats y u do what u did. Dats y u listen 2 me.”
She has been there without prejudice, listening and supporting.
So have the rest. Telling me to be strong. Everytime they saw me falling down. Terrified for the fact that a strong soul could feel so down, hitting rock bottom.
2008. Saya tidak kuat. Acapkali jatuh, lemah, membiarkan diri dibawa emosi. Cuba untuk bangun sendiri, tetapi hanya gagah mencapai tangan yang membantu.
I tried to mix around. I tried. Cubaan Gagal. Cuba lagi tahun depan.
Tahun depan … is just a few minutes away.
Setiap malam, perkara yang membantu, ialah pelukan adik bongsu yang sering menenangkan. Walaupun ditindih dengan badan yang dua kali ganda lebih berat dari tubuh sendiri. Namun berat itu telah meringankan gundah yang membebankan jiwa.
“So, what are you doing for new year’s eve?”
“Am staying at home, as usual. I don’t go out on new year’s eve, or any eve’s for that matter. Gonna do a movie marathon and thats it.”
2008 is like 4 light years.
A light-year or light year (symbol: ly) is a unit of length, equal to just under ten trillion kilometres.
When you’re constantly falling down and being pulled back up within those 4 light years, you can just sum it up to “ONE HECK OF A JOURNEY”
Some people have dreams, some have goals and targets.
Dreamers might wake up to reality and the dream fades away.
Realist belives in goals and targets.
I don’t like to compete. I believe every one is entitled to fair chance in life. I will do everything moderately, and let other people win if its not my time.
“You’re independent. That Freedom is precious”
I might be free as a bird. But I’m one of those who doesn’t want to fly high. Because for the fact, I want to keep being grounded.
A dialogue from Jean-luc Godard’s ‘À bout de souffle’ (1960)
Patrcia: What is your great ambition?
Parvulesco: To become immortal, and then die.
I try. Will keep on trying.
Immortality can be perceived in so many angles, not just ignoring the fact that life ends. It open boundaries and make us believe in things that we can do.
“We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin, the second is knowing when to stop.” – Paulo Coelho in The Zahir.
At the end of the day, reaching the end of the year, all we can do is say this prayer,
“Our Rabb! Do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake. Our Rabb! Do not place on us a burden as You placed on those before us. Our Rabb! Lay not on us the kind of burden that we have no strength to bear. Pardon us, Forgive us, Have mercy on us. You are our Protector, help us against the unbelievers.”
– Al-Baqarah: 2:286
And to everyone who I’ve befriended throughout 2008, all those extra-ordinaire personas, charismas, I’ve came across
I wish You all the Love you deserve.