one sunday night to a monday morning

its 2.07am. kakak mydin’s lights are on but I doubt they’re still awake. unless they couldn’t sleep because my lappie was quite loud. I was playing some hindi songs then I played “Before Sunset”. the movie has ended but I am replaying it to listen to the dialogue. I love the movie so much. it inspires me so much. in terms of thinking and the art of conversation. julie delpy did a very good job co-writing the script. and I can’t wait for her new movie “2 Days in Paris”. I personally think Julie Delpy is a great great personality. She can sing, write songs, act and now, she’s directing and writing films. its great. and she reads a lot of poetry. whats more interesting, she have her parents featuring in most of her movies, and in “2 Days in Paris”, they will be playing her parents. that would be so cool. well, she is indeed a cool genius.

today, I had my rest, sleeping and eating and yeah, resting. I had my radiator serviced, thanks to colonel who sponsored. heh. being broke in the middle of the month sounds pathetic enough for me. funnily, rezeki sentiasa murah and my car always have fuel and toll money is always there. but yeah, it is pathetic to be broke. but I managed to attend to the reporter at the islamic arts museum who’s doing a coverage on the exhibition my foundation organised and then, on my way back, I got to hang out at my usual spot, had my iced-milo and read. and also bumped into a friend. whom I always enjoyed sitting with, even in silence. some people just brings us that kind of comfort. we can just have our smoke and sit in silence. or she will do her work and me my reading and in silence, we can enjoy each other’s presence. well, I don’t know about her, but I do find that comforting. the other day, we drove around in the middle of the night cruising down freakin’ rich lords’ houses, admiring and bitching about them, and got our brain filled with smoke and just, enjoyed the company.

this made me realised how much I enjoy being in the presence of someone comforting without the requirement of such luxury, being noticed in kl’s hottest spot or indulging in good fine food (although I wouldn’t mind doing all three), but whats more better is that … cruising in the car, or even just parking, in the middle of the night, smoking and enjoying each other’s presence. thats enough.

tomorrow (or today, since its 2.19am monday morning already), I intend to puasa qada’. but I don’t know how bout I’d cope up, since this will be the first since I heavily indulged in nicotine. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. well, I got to try now, ramadhan is coming.

starting next week (or is it this week since its isnani already), I’ll have more time to myself. I will make time for myself. I need to have a better sleeping routine, and I need to adjust myself to certain things. I want to come home a bit earlier, and maybe just have more time to read. just stop by ali maju and have my milo ice or vanilla coke and read by myself. I always enjoy that. its great to be single (sometimes). catching up with my reading. there’s a lot to catch up. and hopefully to take up at least one more course end of the year. self-development. studying with people who are working is so much fun. they’re more open. its fun. we have time to compliment and bitch about work. and traveling. oh boy, do I want to travel. and I want to meet more people. so I can be more intelligent. I think I’m stoopeet right now. like really, not enough brain works up there. I want to have more fun lepak session with lots of conversation.

I’ll try to write a poem for this one.

I want to smell you

like a mother smelling her freshly born baby

like a baby smelling her mother’s nipple for milk

like a kid smelling his dessert

like a bee smelling honey.

I want to hug you

when it gets cold and dark

when it gets tough and hard

when it gets lonely and sad

when you’re here beside me.

I want to see you smile

when I make you laugh

when I make you mad

when I make you sad

when I make you care.

You don’t let me smell you anymore.

You don’t let me hug you anymore.

You don’t let me make you smile anymore.

You don’t want me anymore.

You loved me a little less if not none at all.

I’ll leave you now when you don’t want me.

But I’ll be there when you need me.

Not because I care.

But because I’m born to be there.

Its 2.33am. I can’t sleep because I’ve slept earlier. Tomorrow I have work, but I need to make sure I won’t crave for more nicotine if I want to fast.

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